Sunday, March 26, 2006

Worthy of Sid the Sexist

Breast Cancer RibbonMy Mum, who is currently in Chennai (India), sent me an email containing lots of images. The email was a chain letter that, if passed on, purportedly somehow helped in the fight against breast cancer. I don't understand how it was supposed to be able to do this, but perhaps someone can explain.

I don't know the origins of most of the pictures, but where I do I've tried to link to the originating websites of those that I can. Although the images were obviously put together by men (in that they're very sexist), I thought that some of them were quite funny, so here they are. If you happen to be somehow inspired to donate money to breast cancer research, then all the better.

IF WOMEN CONTROLLED THE WORLD...

 Pink bowling lane with flowers growing in the gutters
Car sales organised in accordance with the colour of the vehicle
Parking space with flashing runway lights marking the approach
Car mileometer with comments instead of numbers: slow...quickish...scary...shut eyes...
Hammer and screwdriver set that are actually a shoe and a knife
Toilet with its seat chained to the floorToilet with lots of toilet rolls

Some of you might be wondering who Sid the Sexist is.

He is a character from Viz. Viz is an adult comic that I used to read when I was younger. It has a Beano-esque style, but is aimed at adults. It can be very funny, but can sometimes be a bit too profane for my tastes. Sid is a Geordie who can never get a girlfriend because he's too sexist and always manages to offend the opposite sex.

A very funny Viz book, if you're interested, is The Sexist Book of Records. It is a fabricated compendium of sexist "records" (eg. the record for the furthest a woman has driven with the hand brake on -- something I'm quite infamous for doing). One half of the book is about women and the other half is about men.

You might also be interested in perusing Viz's online Top Tips. They mimic the sort of reader-submitted tips that you'd find in magazines. Here's a few examples:

FATTIES. Take a tip from smokers and stop your cravings for chips by Sellotaping a crisp to the top of your arm each morning.

EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

SHOPPERS When buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.

RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

I'll stop there because you probably get the idea by now.

I'd also like to warn anyone who is easily offended that they maybe should not click through to the Viz site because a lot of Viz humour can be in bad taste.

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